Relationships have stopped being simple. For many young men, being in love has turned into a financial responsibility they can’t afford. It’s not because they don’t want to love or be loved. In fact, most Nigerian men want companionship, loyalty, and support. But when romance starts to feel like a full-time financial job, they run—and who can blame them?
The Rise of Financial Expectations in Modern Dating
From the moment a guy starts talking to a girl in Nigeria, the financial meter starts running. It begins with airtime and data. Then come the requests for transport money, food, hair, birthday surprises, and even “urgent ₦2k.” Sometimes, it feels like you’re dating a bill, not a person.
In Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, and even smaller towns, young men often say dating has become expensive. You’re not just loving someone—you’re funding a lifestyle. And with Nigeria’s economy the way it is, many men simply don’t have the means.
The Unspoken Fear: Am I Just a Wallet?
The problem goes beyond money. Many Nigerian men now fear that love equals spending. If he can’t provide constantly, he’s labelled as stingy or unromantic. He worries that the girl might leave for someone with more money or accuse him of not caring.
This mindset creates emotional stress. Guys begin to wonder, “Is she here for me or for what I can give?” That doubt alone is enough to make many avoid relationships entirely.
Peer Pressure and Social Media Are Making It Worse
Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok now show couples buying iPhones, going on weekend getaways, and hosting surprise birthday shoots. These posts raise expectations. Many girls now think that’s the standard. They want similar treatment—forgetting that not everyone is financially there.
Young men are now under pressure to fake a lifestyle, just to meet modern dating demands. That’s not love—that’s debt.
Real Talk: Most Guys Are Still Hustling
Let’s be realistic. The average Nigerian guy in his 20s or early 30s is still hustling hard. Some just finished NYSC, some are job-hunting, and others are running small businesses. Expecting them to fund a full-blown romantic life like a married CEO is unfair.
It’s not that these men don’t want to treat their partners well. They just don’t want to go broke trying to prove love. And until the economy improves or expectations reduce, many will continue to avoid serious relationships.
What Can Change?
We need to shift how we view love in Nigeria. Relationships should be about mutual support, not just who can spend the most. Girls should understand that many men are trying their best, even if they can’t spoil them every day. Men should also be honest about their financial level from the start, instead of trying to impress.
If both sides manage expectations, we’ll see more real love stories—and fewer broken hearts due to money pressure.
Conclusion: Money Pressure is Killing Love in Nigeria
In a country where survival is already hard, relationships shouldn’t feel like another bill to pay. Many Nigerian men avoid relationships today not because they hate love, but because they fear being financially drained. Until we stop treating love like a luxury item, dating will remain a burden for the average Nigerian man.
